It is amazing and even quite sad how in this advanced age of communication, something as important as self defense is still so vastly misunderstood. Think about it: Ask 100 people what they think self defense is and you will get all manner of responses. The typical response is filled with images of cinematic flashy moves, breaking boards and bricks, and deadly secret death touches. Yet for the most part, these have little or nothing to do with how real people could or should try to defend themselves.

And perhaps more to the point, these misconceptions create false fear and denial that keep so many people from ever taking a self defense course, even though it is a subject that everyone needs to know in our ever increasingly violent world!

There are currently a number of self defense and martial arts organizations that have transcended the stereotypes of self defense and actually do provide very effective state of the art self protection. Yet the world at large is still largely unaware of the modern technologies these organizations are employing that are saving and changing so many lives.

Why Is This So? In order to get a clear picture of where we are today with self defense, we must take at least a short historical journey. Self Defense has historically been linked with the martial arts. The Martial Arts these days have grown into a powerful Industry that teaches a wide variety of benefits from self defense, to character development, self discipline, fitness and more. But this was not always the case.

Martial Arts Aficionados’ pls excuse the simplistic account that follows: When the martial arts were first brought to the western world, (primarily by military personnel who learned Martial Arts while abroad), they were taught in a relatively hard core manner in back yards and basements by some pretty hard core dudes. The training was quite arduous and the students who hung in there certainly became quite proficient in physical defense through sheer survival. The bottom line is that unless someone was willing to endure brutal long term training in dirty dungeon like conditions with a bunch of testosterone pumped karate guys, self defense was for a good while pretty much an elusive entity. Especially to those folks who needed it most.

Enter: Self Defense for Women. To fill in the gaps, some of these concerned old school practitioners began developing self defense courses for those unwilling and unable to attend formal martial arts training. These courses were often were taught by big burly guys, often cops or grizzled veterans, and often comprised instruction of complicated technique combinations to their female students. (Men apparently were supposed to ‘just know’ all these techniques already, and thus wouldn’t dare step into such a course for fear of appearing unmanly). Crucial awareness or verbal training was non existent in these classes, and there was virtually no attention given to the realities of the adrenal fear response.

Thus, many women who received training typically left these classes ill prepared to handle a real life altercation. Sadly the stories abound of such women being overwhelmed by real attackers when their newfound defense techniques failed in the heat of the moment. Hence, self defense justifiably took a big hit as being ineffective. And these poor women took a double whammy from the resultant shame/guilt when they failed in combat because they “should” have been able to defend themselves after their training. Yet this dynamic was never addressed, and the victims suffered horribly twice over. This wasn’t due to the negligence of these big hearted well meaning Instructors. They really wanted to help and were simply doing the best with what they knew at that time.

Meanwhile, the martial arts began to take off as a viable business enterprise. The MA school environment greatly improved so that women and children would be more inclined to participate. Focus was as much or more on character development, physical fitness, and self discipline vs. the more hard core ‘old school’ aspects of self defense. Participants could now study in a clean, fun, safe and supportive environment. In a big way this was a positive shift as it put more focus on the true merits of martial arts that go far beyond self defense. Per force the hard core self defense training of the martial arts began to fade in deference to a safer and more enjoyable family atmosphere.

The Media Factor: Movies and the media put all sorts of crazy ideas into people’s heads about how to defend themselves. The old school “real men” like Chuck Bronson and Clint Eastwood showed that tough, “take no crap from anyone” iron man cold demeanors are what we should strive for. Then Bruce Lee entered the scene showing that blazing speed, ripped muscles, and incredible spinning/flying techniques were the cure for all our self defense needs.

Finally, enter the UFC and MMA phenomena. Although fantastic for the martial arts as a means to test what was missing in their MA arsenal, it produced yet more questions about what constitutes real self defense for real people. Suddenly in many circles, ground fighting was the end all of self defense, despite the fact that sport JJ and the Octagon and its’ requisite rules are far removed from real life self defense. There are no surprise attacks, the techniques are necessarily complicated, extreme physical fitness is paramount, ground fighting is the last place one wants to be in a real fight, and weapons are not in the equation. Yet MMA is perceived and even marketed as “Reality” self defense to this day. Granted the physical prowess of MMA fighters is immense and experienced MMA practitioners would be a true force to be reckoned with on the street. But how many people want to endure such tough training? And once again the all important awareness and verbal tactics are missing in most MMA training. It’s not at all that MMA is bad. There are just some additions that could be made to make it better for self defense.

So what then IS self defense? In my personal experience teaching Adrenal Stress Response self defense over the last 22 years, I have traveled the world teaching self defense to people of all ages, genders, and levels of proficiency in virtually every martial art and even professional fighters. I have accumulated well over 50,000 physical fights in training (which I am not bragging about since I lost every fight to my students) and just as many verbal altercations. I have over 200 Certified Instructors teaching worldwide and collectively we have amassed a colossal amount of empirical data as to what does and does not work. From these I and my colleagues have come to some hard won conclusions:

* Most situations can be de-escalated by good assertive demeanor and verbal tactics. These are the most important self defense skills of all as a physical altercation is the last thing we ever want. Not only must we win the fight, we may have to win when they come back disgruntled with a gun or 10 buddies, and then again and often the most difficult battle is in court.
* Self defense is not restricted to dark alleys! From the playground to the boardroom to the bedroom to the street, situations arise every day that warrant some level of defense for children, teens, women and men!
* Altercations are emotional. Not only are we dealing with the aggressor, we are dealing with a wide array of internal responses that suddenly appear in the heat of the moment. Emotional knee jerk responses are common and can make a situation much worse.
* Awareness of Socio Conditioning – Whether we like it or not, we all have conditioned voices in our heads about how we ‘should’ deal with conflict. These come from myriad sources such as our family, our geographic location, past experiences, movies, and even friends (who typically have no better idea then we do). These voices scream in our heads during a conflict and can dictate a bad reaction. Ex: “just be nice”, or “don’t be rude”, or the other extreme “Don’t be a pussy”, or “Ya think you are tougher than me?”
* The effects of adrenaline MUST be addressed. It doesn’t matter how much training or how many black belts someone has. If they cannot understand and deal with the flight/freeze/fight response, they will most likely succumb before the fight even begins, and certainly will during and after the fact.
* Breathing is Good! The first thing we humans fail to do under duress is breathe properly. I have seen this across the board, and it is the single most debilitating response we can make, as it instantly escalates the negative effects of adrenaline. Proper breathing is the key to controlling the adrenaline/ fear and choosing and applying effective self defense action, be it verbal or physical.
* Know your triggers! We all have triggers or buttons that someone can push to get us to lose it. Awareness of these triggers is key so that we don’t get coerced into a knee jerk response by someone pushing our buttons. Most assaults on women are committed by someone they know, and they often well know your triggers! (again, the key is “breathe before you bark” or take any action).
* Self defense can be learned quickly if taught correctly. Ongoing MA training is great for those willing to put in the time and energy to acquire the necessary skills. But what if they are not so inclined? And what about verbal de-escalation? The technology exists to teach people very effective self defense in just hours and many MA schools are combining this technology with their Traditional Martial arts training to be the cutting edge of the Industry.
* Size is irrelevant. Effective defense does not require big muscles or physical prowess. Think about trying to hold a cat who doesn’t want to be held. Who will win that fight every time? Also, adrenaline is the great equalizer. Women have lifted up cars to save infants. Imagine that same power yelling “NO!” or driving a knee into the groin, or fingers into the eyes of an attacker!
* Physical Defense should ONLY be used as a last resort. The trick is to do whatever we can to not fight. It’s easier to avoid a fight than we might think. But If fight we must, it’s no longer a game or contest. Its all out survival, and time to flip the adrenal switch and go Mama Bear on the attacker!
* KISS Rule – Simple high percentage strikes to vulnerable targets on the attackers body are the way to go. Anything else can be wasted energy and time and might cost you dearly.
* 90% Spirit/10% technique. If a fight does ensue, it is usually the person that can tap into their “Go For It” attitude that prevails, over the person who has all the skill in the world but no fighting spirit. “The crazier person wins” is an adage that has proven itself time and again.
* Worth Defending – All of the above is meaningless if we cannot get the student to believe that when push comes to shove, they are worth fighting for. It’s a sad fact that many people will fight for a loved one, but not for themselves. It is incredibly uplifting when students find the power within to fight for themselves.

Self Defense should be empowering! Perhaps the most rewarding facet of this training, certainly the one that has kept me doing it for over 2 decades, is seeing the glow that emanates from a student who suddenly discovers the power they have inside. We all have it, yet the world does not necessarily support us shining with all of our glory. This is a travesty in my estimation. Yet we have the technology to provide people of all ages the opportunity to tap into their power at the deepest level; deeper than most people ever feel. And once you tap into that power, life changes forever, not just in conflict, but in every moment!

Kudos to all the dedicated people who have given their hearts and souls to the continuing evolution of self defense technology. The world is changing and so must we continually adapt. It is now incumbent on the world of Self Defense Instructors to stand up and re-educate the world as to what Self Defense truly is about. To do so we must give self defense a Makeover! We need to let people know we have progressed far beyond the good old days. Only then will our Industry get the correct attention so that collectively we can train enough people that our world will change in a big way.

Sidenote – It deserves serious mentioning that the ultimate self defense is against the real killers of the world; heart disease, cancer, diabetes and the like. As it is for Human Rights, and the Planet! Are we up for the task?

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